October 14, 2016
Upon Reflection Fifty
Years Later
 |
 |
| Penny and Susan |
Fifty years ago I went to Neuchatel Junior College, a
Canadian school in Switzerland. Around 100 17-18 year olds from across Canada
and a handful of Americans traveled by the Carinthia
boat to attend this small school for what was then known as grade thirteen. (a high
school requirement at that time in Ontario) We were housed with Swiss families
where the objective was to speak French as much as possible. Remember this was
a time when there was no email, no digital cameras, no computers and phone
calls were outrageously expensive so very rare. We were virtually cast adrift
by our parents to explore Europe. Such trusting parents we had! While
John likes to tell people I went to a “finishing school” I protest because for
me this school represented a Coming of Age experience. It was the beginning of new
learning about living with a foreign family, a different language, developing new
friendships and cultural horizons and becoming infected with what can be
learned from travel.
When the invitation came that there was a 50th
reunion of Neuchatel Junior College I initially declined. The date was
inconvenient occurring between two other trips away and I wasn’t sure a 50th
reunion was a good idea. Would we all
look terribly old? Would I remember any one? Would any one recognize me? Was it
a good idea to look backwards? How much did I remember about this year abroad? However,
both my Neuchatel roommates Julie from Vancouver and Ginny from Prince Edward
Island who had remained good friends over the years were going to attend and I
began to feel this was a trip not to be missed.
 |
| Janice, Robin, Barnie, Jenny, Ginny |
 |
| Ginny and Julie my roommates |
I was able to find my Neuchatel diary in our basement that I had not read since leaving Neuchatel. Reading my daily journal entries on
the plane to Toronto I was surprised by my beautiful handwriting that looks
nothing like my handwriting today. Was
this really me writing? Reading this journal released old neurons and memories
that had long been dormant. Since Ginny and Julie were also going to bring
their diaries … I wondered if I really wanted to share what was in my diary. In
fact, I pondered the idea of losing or burning my diary for surely I never want my
children or husband to read this! At times my comments seemed so shallow and self-absorbed
with a focus on how much alcohol we were drinking, whether or not to smoke, who was in
love with who, how I handled advances from boys who seemed to want to kiss and
fondle me at the Rotunda Friday night dances, fear and delight with breaking curfews, obsession
with what we ate and a concern about getting too fat. Where was the learning
about culture, art, history? What did I learn?
Here are a few excerpts from my diary of the first days on
the boat:
“The boys from
Neuchatel seem quite young although a lot of the girls and boys drink a lot.
Shockmuch! Just the same I’ll never drink!
Two days later
“We bombed around
getting ready for the gala night. Janice, Ginny, Jenny, Julie and I went as
Indians and marched in a tent and guess what we won 2 bottle of champagne. We
went to the bar for dancing and I tried a Tom Collins, rum and coke, and gin
and tonic and beer. Actually I just
tried a sip of everyone’s drinks. I
danced with Tom, Barrie, Dave and a guy from Liverpool. We hated to leave
because it was so neat. We decided not to go to bed and stay up to see the sun
rise. Julie and Ginny are in our room ~
illegally of course.”
Next morning
“I got sick and I
swear it wasn’t sea sickness cause I’m supposed to be hardy. I threw up all
that delicious steak and heaven knows even the wine soon departed. I think I
was sick because of no sleep, the cigarette and all that booze I had to
drink.”
Leaving the boat in Liverpool
“On the bus I sat with
Jenny. Suddenly four very strange looking creatures went by ~ boys with the
longest hair I’ve ever seen. One boy had it peroxided. I soon saw others had
the same style in Oxford but will never be as surprised as that first glimpse.”
“ Barrie, Dave, Julie,
Ginny and I are illegally listening to Beatles records in our room.”
In Oxford and Stratford
“Jamie was my date for
going to Stratford cause Jenny was going with Robin. We went through the
Shakespeare Exhibition and had a picnic lunch on the side of the Avon River and
fed the swans our lunch. We ran holding hands up to the church where
Shakespeare’s tomb is. It was an awe inspiring experience. Then we went to see Tymon
of Athens that was really good. Jamie was great and in the middle of the show
we held hands!! Jamie is really nice; he flatters me too much. “
 |
| Carolyn with Collin who coached me |
 |
| Carolyn and Ginny |
You get the idea .. in between visits to various palaces,
graves, cathedrals, parks, concerts I ramble in my diary about the other
students, dances, meeting European men and our various adventures. We
like our “madame” who takes good care of us.. but are dismayed that she will only turn on the hot
water once a week for a shared bath and never seems to change her black
dress. Some days we are very hungry and
we buy yogurt and chocolate to put on our window ledges for emergency use. I am working hard at Chemistry, French, Biology, Latin, English and Algebra but worried about my grades. I feel the
other students are much smarter and certainly not as naive as I am.
I have a lot to learn. We have
a condensed academic schedule due the time taken for many trips for skiing a
month in Austria, 3 weeks in Italy, and then a summer in Germany, France, and
Hungry.
 |
| View from my room |
 |
| Carolyn in Venice |
 |
| Ginny |
Meeting in our hotel room in Toronto, Julie and Ginny and I
spend the afternoon reading to each other excerpts from our diaries. We started
with September 3rd .1965 as we had journaled almost every day of our
year abroad. Our thoughts were somewhat similar and there was validity to the
comments. Ginny was also worried about her grades and Julie was worried about
her boyfriend at home and the wisdom of having a new boyfriend.
We laughed continually and shared feelings,
worries and perspectives.
 |
| Julie and Ginny |
About 1 week after we arrived in Neuchatel the
principal Mr. Wilde who was the founder of the school and David Darling another
student were killed in a car accident. This clearly had a big impact on all the
students and in our diaries we wrote about going to the Mr. Wilde’s funeral. It
is amazing to think that all of us away from home had our father surrogate and
charismatic mentor snatched from us. There was no school counselor, no family
or parent and some students were asked to take on adult roles in participating
in the funerals. Clearly our diaries indicated how difficult this was for us.
Here is one of my postings.
“I can’t really fathom
that they have been killed yet. It’s just too awful. Death is a strange, scary
thing and I don’t think I’ll ever be able to understand it. May God look after
the school, my friends and family at home. Today at school was dreary and
upsetting. We slugged through classes and trudged home in unhappy spirits.
David’s funeral is tomorrow.”
We only got to December in our diary discussion when we realized
that the reunion dinner was in 30 minutes.
We were lost deep into memories. At the dinner there were 40 Neuchatel
students and some brought their partners.
Janice Webster had worked hard to locate many students… and about 11 of
them had died.
 |
| Ginny and Ruth |
Ruth had asked everyone to contribute a brief bio sketch of
their lives since Neuchatel and to answer some questions about their
experiences at Neuchatel. She has compiled these documents into a wonderful memory book. There
was much discussion at the dinner about the death of Mr. Wilde and the student
David Darling. It was clear that this was unfinished business and for a moment
I felt like we were teenagers again reworking something that should have been
shared years earlier.
A small auction arranged by Kim and his wife was held to
collect funds for some kind of memorial for David at the school.
It seemed to me that most people had found Neuchatel to be a major developmental milestone in
their lives having grown up quickly, learned to deal with separation from
family, coping with sudden tragedy and loss, and how to move on under difficult
circumstances as well as making some lifelong friends. This learning was more
intangible than a test score for algebra or history or physics would indicate but something fundamentally core about social and emotional development as we become adults.
 |
| Carolyn, Julie, Janice, Ginny, Kim, Collin |
The next morning a few of us met for breakfast to talk about politics, our children and more current events. Unfortunately I was leaving that afternoon and would miss the gala and breakfast next morning. However, I learned that reunions and reflections on one's past experiences are worthwhile in ways that are hard to explain. As my diary I think it will disappear soon.
We talked about reconnecting again perhaps on
the West coast. Clearly this is a
diverse, curious, interesting group of people with much to share in the next
chapter of their lives. I am sorry I have not kept in touch with more classmates as I had missed out on some fascinating friendships. However, my friendships with my roommates Julie and Ginny had been long lasting and wonderful.
I look forward to possible future meetings..perhaps in Seattle or Vancouver.
 |
| Carolyn, Julie and Ginny |
 |
 |
No comments:
Post a Comment