Women in Oman Blog # 6

Blog #6

February 27

WOMEN IN OMAN 

Girls start wearing abayas when they reach puberty. I wonder about the meaning of this attire. Since the abaya is synthetic and they wear other clothes underneath it and the weather in Oman can get up to 120 degrees in summer, it is a real commitment.  Our Sri Lankan guide, Don, tells me that they dress like this only when they are out in public but at home with their family and husband they can be without a headscarf. However, if they have a male guest in their home they will again cover up. Furthermore, Don explains that the reason all the houses have such high, sandstone walls around their perimeter are so the women have privacy to come outside and not be seen by others.  John tells me the significance of this attire has to do with sexual repression. I comment that with the number of children they are having they may not be repressed. Or, is it that their faith forbids birth control. I ask John what data or evidence he has for his theory? He tells me it is his own theory.

Where are the Omani women? Are they always hidden in their homes? What are they doing? Are they happy being married at age 13 or 14 to a man who may have 3 other wives? Yes Oman law allows a man to have 4 wives.  Do Omani women want to work or get an education before marrying and having babies? I ask Don if he knows 


any Omani women and if they are happy?  Yes he says he knows some and thinks they are happy for they have grown up this way and this is normal for them.  Indeed, in the 1970’s there were only 3 schools in the whole of Oman and they were for boys. 

With the Sultan Qaboos in charge a lot has changed. Now there are 1,038 government run schools and the Sultan Qaboos University opened in 1986 to both men and women.  We walked through this beautiful university campus and John thought it looked a bit like Stanford.  We met an Omani professor of business and finance and he said he did his undergraduate education at the University of Oregon and his MBA at Oregon State University (funded by the Sultan). Education now is free and mandatory for boys and girls. I ask Don how many women are currently in politics and he says 3 ministers out of 33 and 1 council member out of 84. The numbers are low but so are the numbers of women in politics in USA, which has been educating women for a much longer time period. Change can be slow but this country seems to be on the fast track. Don tells me that currently there are more women in the Sultan University than men – so it seems women are making progress since this university has 18,000 students enrolled.

Unlike other Arabian countries in this peninsula it seems that Omani women are getting fair treatment as they are offered equal opportunities at least in education, are starting to take up professional careers and the Sultan is emphasizing jobs for them. The Sultan said the following in a speech – “many years ago I said that if the energy, capability and enthusiasm of women were excluded from a country’s active life, then that country would be depriving itself of 50% of its genius.  I have taken good care that this should not happen to Oman”. I get the feeling that Omani men respect women. I can’t imagine that what I’ve been hearing about sexual harassment, rape and female degradation in India media would happen in Oman. (This week India just passed a law prohibiting this behavior). Oman men and the culture in general seem peaceful, calm, honest and friendly. On the other hand, I don’t have the same feeling in regard to Saudi Arabian men and their treatment of women. Perhaps this is an unfounded misperception; I have no data to prove this theory.

Marriages in Oman are arranged by families as they always have been. However, only two decades ago women married at age 13 or 14 years of age and presently they are more likely to be in their early 20’s before marrying.  Apparently, women aren’t allowed to go out on dates before marriage and in fact the lives of boys and girls begin to be segregated after third grade when they are sent to separate schools.  This segregation pervades many aspects of their lives such as men and women praying in different prayer halls or using computers in different rooms in libraries. The parents of the bride decide the dowry and negotiate this dowry with the groom’s parents and must pay it before the marriage occurs. Gold jewelry plays an important part in marriage ceremonies as the wealth and status of the family is judged by the jewelry worn my women. (In UAE the government pays the dowry.) One-third of the dowry goes to the parents and the minimum dowry amount is 3000 rials (~$9,000), which is used to buy furniture for the bride.  The wedding celebrations start with a women’s henna ceremony and the henna is provided by the groom’s family. Even at the actual wedding the men and women are in different rooms.  I am doubtful whether these traditions can last with the education of women allowing them the ability to be self-sufficient and employed. Divorce is allowed. Already I get a glimpse of this change happening. Today the Oman Dental Association Conference was held at our hotel. There seemed to be more young women in black abayas at this conference than men and when one young woman’s abaya opened slightly it revealed blue jeans underneath. All is not what it seems from the outside.

Women’s Bedouin Market

I was excited to go back to the interior to Ibra to see the women’s market. I thought this would be a chance for me to see women interacting with each other and get a sense of their happiness. This market began in the 70’s as a health clinic for Bedouin women and then transformed into a place where women could sell clothing to other women. Men were not allowed until a few years ago. When we got here the first thing that struck me was the intense splash of color in the garments of the Bedouin women. The black abaya coveralls were gone. The mostly Bedouin women had on brightly colored and designed head scarfs and their faces were uncovered. But more than that they had on the most amazing jallabias (dresses) worn over sirwalls (trousers). The fabrics are embroidered with lace, sequins, jewels, bright threads, beads, coins and other materials. They were all different according to personal design. Many of them had their eyes painted with black kohl. They sat on sequined cushions surrounded with their fabric, ribbons, and laces while sewing detailed designs. Unfortunately photographs were not allowed so I could not take pictures in the market. However I bargained for a pair of the brightly colored gold trouser cuffs to put on my blue jeans at home.  I tried them on and the women laughed. Don said this is not a place for tourists who normally don’t buy this sort of thing. The cuffs were not cheap and were made from a cotton food sack – recycling is evident. The woman said I looked like I could pay more and Don told her in Arabic, no this is all the money her husband would let her have. She laughed and gave them to me for that price. I conclude the women have good business sense and may be happy in this market with other women.

Food

I have not talked about Omani food because I am not sure it exists. Mostly it is Indian cuisine. I eat reluctantly because on our trip to India I got giardia and it took 6 weeks to recover. We wanted to find an authentic Oman dining experience for our last night in Oman. Don suggested such a place where we could eat sitting on the floor using our hands. Lonely planet said this place was okay. After a 20 dollar taxi ride we arrive at Bin Ateek, a restaurant on the highway embedded in between a MacDonald’s and a gas station. We are shown to a small dark uninspiring room with cheap rugs on the floor, uncomfortable pillows next to the walls, an ancient TV in the corner and long, fluorescent lights in the ceiling. We are told to take off our shoes at the door and are left waiting. We order the foods according to pictures from the menu and can hear children in other rooms jumping up and down and listening to TV. This is the way Omani women can eat out of their homes and still be in privacy.  We are served coffee that tastes like sweetened tea, fried chicken that has cooked too long and some sort of sogging bread in milk and I ask John if it could be camel milk. John’s dish seems to have no spices and little taste and he craves the spicy Indian food that he has been eating all week long. This is not exactly a Mediterranean diet or for that matter authentic.  Perhaps it is more like MacDonld’s authentic American diet.  We take another expensive taxi ride back to the hotel and get caught in a traffic jam with everyone rushing out of Muscat to their families because it is Wednesday night and the weekend is beginning, which runs from Friday to Saturday.  John comments that it is just like Friday in Seattle leaving on I-5 for Vashon.

We say good-bye reluctantly to Don who says he will take us on a tour in Sri Lanka and I wonder what Jordanian women will be like.